


Never Forget

by Hellokaelyn



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-10 16:30:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18664114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He should be in a hospital room with his baby and her mother. Smiling as they pointed out who their baby looked like, eyes getting watery as their hearts filled with love for the tiny human they created.Nick and Ellie lean on each other and care for his newborn baby, all the while never forgetting.





	Never Forget

Standing in front of the window staring at the baby sleeping peacefully all the way to the left of the room, Nick felt his hand shake as he pressed it against the glass.   
  
This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He should be in a hospital room with his baby and her mother. Smiling as they pointed out who their baby looked like, eyes getting watery as their hearts filled with love for the tiny human they created.   
  
Nick took a shaky breath and moved to lean against the wall, swallowing the lump in his throat.   
  
Minutes, that's all he had to share with Carina and their baby. Minutes until Carina had gone pale, minutes until Nick was pushed aside and soon out of the room. Forever that felt like minutes before the doctor came to him, Carina had bled out.   
  
Nick didn't even inform anyone she had went into labor, and so there was no one to try and comfort him or give him looks of pity.   
  
But as he had time to think, he realized as she went pale and looked at him..there was no fear even knowing something was wrong, there was _acceptance_ in her eyes. It was like she had already known. Which confused Nick, a lot. He had been to her doctors appointments, seen her cabinet with anything she took, nothing hinted at her knowing she wouldn't be okay.   
  
Moving back in front of the window to watch his newborn baby, Nick took out his phone.  
  
 _“Nick! Where are you guys? I just stopped by Carina's apartment, we were supposed to finish the stencil piece for the crib-”_  
  
A sob fell from his lips at her voice, stopping her on the spot.  
  
“Ellie..”   
  
_“Nick? Where are you?”_ Ellie whispered into the phone, fear seeping into her tone.  
  
“Hospital.” He choked out. “She's..she's gone.”  
  
Nick felt himself break down as his own words hit his ears. The mother of his child, the woman who had become a close friend, the woman who opened her heart to his whole crazy work family without question.   
  
His world felt a little bit darker at another loss.  
  


* * *

  
  
_Nick stared in shock at the pregnancy test sitting on the coffee table even hours after finding out. He was going to be a dad. He had gotten Carina pregnant..he felt like the world was laughing at him. They had mutually agreed to break up two weeks ago, and now she was pregnant._   
  
_“I'm sorry.” Carina whispered, sitting beside him on the couch._   
  
_“What?” Nick looked up at her sharply. “What could you have to be sorry for?”_   
  
_She chuckled. “Kind of puts a damper in your plans to ask out Ellie.”_   
  
_He gaped at her. “What?!”_   
  
_Carina rolled her eyes, hitting his arm. “I'm not blind you idiot, I've known you liked her since I first saw you two together. Not like I blame you or anything-” Nick's eyes widened as she leaned closer with a smirk. “I mean she's damn gorgeous that's for sure, smart, funny, that cute nerdy type, and that ass-”_   
  
_“Carina!” He shouted, voice getting high and his cheeks coloring._   
  
_Head thrown back in laughter she shrugged with a grin. “Maybe I should have ditched you when I met her, try and get her myself.”_   
  
_“That's it!” He shouted, Carina squealed and jumped off the couch running towards her room. Nick chased after her, reaching right as she shut the door in his face._   
  
_“It's not my fault when it comes to girls she's exactly my type!” She shouted from the other side of the door._   
  
_“Carina! Seriously?!”_   
  
_Her laughter reached his ears. Nick rolled his eyes. He should have known Ellie was her type if the pictures he saw of her ex-girlfriend, her relationship before him, was anything to go by._   
  
_“Hey uh Nick?”_   
  
_“Yeah?”_   
  
_“....Can you get me a taco?”_   
  
_Nick rested his forehead against the door with a chuckle._   
  


* * *

  
  
_Sitting between Ellie and McGee on McGee's couch, he took a long sip of his beer._   
  
_“Wow so- you're gonna be joining the dad club.” McGee said._   
  
_Nick made a face at the name. “There isn't a literal club is there? Cause if so, no thanks.”_   
  
_Ellie snickered. “Club Super Dad!” She spread her hands out in the air. “Solving crimes and changing diapers!”_   
  
_“Oh shut up!” Nick grumbled, giving her a little shove. Ellie and McGee shared a laugh._   
  
_“Just be glad Jimmy isn't here, he would have jumped on that in seconds.” McGee teased. Nick groaned._   
  
_“He would have made t-shirts!”_   
  
_Ellie choked on her beer with a laugh. “And buttons!”_   
  
_All three of them laughed until silence fell upon them again._   
  
_Nick took a glance at Ellie when McGee moved to the kitchen where the oven had just dinged. Sensing his stare, she bit her lip sharing his glance._   
  
_His chest tightened at the slight sadness in her eyes, even if she was happy for him. And it wasn't hard for Ellie to see how scared, happy, and sad he was himself. She moved her hand closer to his, curling her pinky around his. Nick returned the gesture._   
  
_It was a small gesture, but enough to fill them both with a small bit of hope that maybe this didn't end them before they began._   
  


* * *

  
  
By the time Ellie got through all the traffic and arrived at the hospital, he had already pulled himself together enough to spend some time with his baby before he was once against standing in front of the window.   
  
Ellie ran up to him, red and out of breath. His lips twitched in a quick reaction as she right away started rambling about the traffic, and something about a crazy guy with an airhorn.   
  
She stopped mid ramble when her eyes settled on the babies.   
  
Nick pointed to the baby all the way on the left.   
  
“Oh.” She said breathlessly, awe in her voice.   
  
“Lily Carina Torres.”   
  
Ellie spun her head in his direction. “Y-You named her Lily?”  
  
Nick nodded. It had been Carina's idea. She heard plenty about some of their cases on days out with the team the times Breena and Delilah joined them, it wasn't things they probably should have shared but when alcohol was in the mix..   
  
But the case with Morgan and Lily struck a chord with Carina, and she realized quick that the little girl meant something to Ellie..and so she had came up with the idea of naming their daughter Lily. Nick had thought it a bit weird at first naming his daughter as a sort of homage to the woman he liked, but as Carina had pointed out..Ellie was also his best friend and someone who meant a lot to him in general.   
  
Ellie looped her arm through his, head resting on his shoulder as they watched his daughter.   
  
“She's beautiful and perfect.”  
  
Nick smiled. “Yeah..she is.”   
  
“Nick?”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“I'm sorry about Carina..she was, pretty damn amazing.”   
  
Nick whispered a ‘thanks’ before silence fell upon them.  
  


* * *

  
  
_“Is it supposed to be this..gooey?”_   
  
_Ellie made a face as Carina broke apart the brownie that so did not look edible._   
  
_“Uh-” Ellie grabbed the brownie mix box looking at the ingredients needed. Her eyes went to the broken eggshells still sitting on the counter doing a count, but then she caught sight of Carina. “Carina!”_   
  
_She snatched the brownie from her hand._   
  
_“What! I just wanted to try it.”_   
  
_Ellie gestured towards her stomach, baby bump evident. “You have to be a little more careful about what your eating, remember? And those brownies look disgusting.”_   
  
_Carina poked at the gooey brownie. “But baby wants brownies!”_   
  
_“Not potentially poisonous brownies.” Ellie mumbled._   
  
_“Oh come on! So we added a few too many ingredients-”_   
  
_Carina reached for a brownie again. Ellie smacked her hand._   
  
_“Ouch!”_   
  
_Ellie rolled her eyes, taking out her phone to text Nick. “There, I told Nick to pick up some brownies from that bakery you like.”_   
  
_“Have I told you I love you lately?”_   
  
_“...Yes, yesterday as I was leaving just to aggravate Nick in fact.”_   
  
_Carina snickered. “Not my fault he's so easy to rile up.”_   
  
_Ellie laughed, moving to the cabinet full of girly ugly plates Carina had got from her grandmother and reaching all the way to the back, pulling out two small bags of chips._   
  
_“Oh my god yes!” Carina grinned, grabbing one of the bags not wasting any time in ripping it open and shoving some in her mouth. “These use to be so disgusting but baby loves them and now they taste so good.”_   
  
_Both women dropped onto the couch, legs up on the coffee table as they snacked on their chips before Nick came back and saw them. He still blamed it on Ellie for the fact Carina now ate bacon brown sugar chips, one of the most disgusting flavors he claims. Didn't keep the two from hiding some in Carina's apartment or Ellie sneaking some over._   
  


* * *

  
  
_It was dark in the bedroom except a small light on the nightstand, casting just enough light for both women lying on the bed to see. They were resting side by side on the pillows, tissues gathering with another growing to the pile as Ellie handed Carina another._  
  
 _Carina sniffled, her tears had finally stopped ten minutes ago._  
  
 _“I'm sorry.” She mumbled, voice stuffy. “It's not like I haven't heard my mom say those things before, but with the stupid hormones-”_  
  
 _Ellie rubbed her arm. “You don't have to apologize. You're my friend, it's kind of in the handbook of friendship.”_  
  
 _Carina smiled weakly, reaching over to squeeze Ellie's hand. “Thanks girl.”_  
  
 _“I just wish she could accept it you know?” Carina huffed. “She was so happy when I told her I was pregnant- but not even for me or the fact she was getting a grandchild.” She scoffed. “She went on this stupid rant about how I could marry Nick and give up my ‘ridiculous hobby’ of dating girls. A hobby she called it! But oh no she's perfectly happy when I date a guy-”_  
  
 _“Well your mom sucks.” Ellie said simply, making Carina giggle._  
  
 _“She does suck!” Carina suddenly gasped. “Oh my god, girl, I never tell you about when I told Nick did I?!”_  
  
 _Ellie perked up. “No! Tell me!”_  
  
 _Giggling her way through with Ellie soon joining, she told her the story of telling Nick she was bisexual. He had made a joking comment about checking out girls together, before his eyes widened and he stuttering through an apology that resulted in him knocking over the pepper shaker and breaking it open, ending with the biggest sneezing fit as pepper went all up his nose._  
  
 _When Nick walked into the darkened room an hour later, both women fell into a fit of giggles making Nick mumble something about regretting introducing them before walking right back out._   
  


* * *

  
  
A few days later, Ellie stood in the doorway of the bedroom with a small smile on her face. Nick was knocked out on the bed, face peaceful and his arm stretched outwards in the direction of the bassinet where Lily was sleeping herself.   
  
Taking in the image, she moved out to the living room grabbing her bag. Laying back on Nick's couch, she pulled out her sketchbook and pencils.   
  
A piece of paper came fluttering out of her book when she opened it.  
  
Her breath caught when she recognized the handwriting.  
  
 _Ellie,_  
  
 _There's a chance if you're reading this, I'm not there. I've been having this gut feeling, and I know how much you all rely on that. This gut feeling that things will go wrong. It breaks my heart to know I may not be there for my baby girl, but I know she'll be surrounded by love and will always have someone looking out for her._  
  
 _I'm writing this to you Ellie to ask you to look after my baby, and to also look after Nick._  
  
 _You've helped me through so much from the beginning and I thank you so much for it all, even when I could see how hard it was for you at times. Don't think I didn't notice it girl, I could see the spark of sadness and jealousy in your eyes at times. It was the same sadness I'd notice in Nick's. I knew from the moment I saw you two together that you were meant to be together, and you'll both do an amazing job with Lily._  
  
 _All I ask is that you love her, and love him._  
  
 _I love you both. I'm happy Nick and I dated those few months because it led me to two of the greatest friendships I've ever had. I'll miss you like crazy. I'll miss all of you._   
  
Ellie folded the letter and tucked it in her bag. She took a few moments to wipe her tears and make sure her crying wasn't evident. Getting off the couch she decided sketching can wait. She moved back to the bedroom, climbing onto the bed behind Nick.   
  
“Ellie?” He mumbled sleepily.   
  
She wrapped an arm around him, not caring how awkward it was considering he was bigger than her.   
  
“Go back to sleep Nick.” She whispered. “I'm not going anywhere.”  
  
He made a humming noise before nodding, letting out a happy little sigh as he slipped back into sleep.  
  


* * *

  
  
_Nick grinned as he stood jogging in spot, Carina stood with her hands on her hips glaring._   
  
_“You look like an idiot.”_   
  
_Her insult only made him laugh. “Aw come on now, I promise to go easy on you.”_   
  
_“Jokes on you! I'm winning this little race!”_   
  
_“We'll see about that.” He smirked, both of them moving into position. Whoever passed the streetlight at the end of the path won. Loser buys winner dinner._   
  
_It didn't take long for Nick to get ahead, but when they were almost to the streetlight, a sudden shout of pain from Carina made him stop short. He turned to see her bent over, hand on her ankle._   
  
_“Shit are you oka-”_   
  
_“Fooled you!” She shouted, running before he could even blink._   
  
_He gaped as she ran past the streetlight, throwing her hands up in the air. “Told you I was gonna win!”_   
  
_“You cheated!” Nick ran over, grabbing her by the waist._   
  
_Carina giggled. “You said nothing about cheating!”_   
  
_Turning around in his grip, she grinned and wrapped her arms loosely around his neck. “So what are you buying me for dinner handsome?”_   
  


* * *

 

_Nick felt his eyes tear up as he stared at the image on the screen. You couldn't see much but it was his baby. The image combined with the sound of the heartbeat ringing in his ears made him swallow roughly._  
  
 _Carina had tears already falling down her cheeks as she gripped his hand tightly. “I still can't believe that's our baby..”_  
  
 _Dr. Trace smiled. “And in perfect health from the looks of it, strong heartbeat too.” She stood from her stool. “I'll give you two a minute.”_  
  
 _Nick finally let some tears fall as soon as the door shut. He quickly wiped them away. “So uh do you think the doctor will think we're crazy if we ask for fifteen copies?”_  
  
 _She laughed. “Fifteen copies?”_  
  
 _“Yeah. Me, you, Ellie, McGee, Gibbs, Jimmy, Kasie, Jack, Vance, Lucia, Amanda, Ducky, Abby, Alex, and I..I'd like to leave one at Reeves’ memorial.”_  
  
 _Carina smiled up at him. “If they think it's crazy I'll call Ellie to come kick their butts?”_  
  
 _Nick playfully glared down at her. “I can kick their butts myself thank you.”_  
  
 _She snickered. “Okay tough guy.”_  
  
 _He huffed. “Shut up and look at our baby.”_  
  
 _Carina stuck her tongue out but did go back to looking at the screen._   
  


* * *

  
  
Time passed slowly but yet quickly.   
  
Maybe it wasn't the healthiest, but Nick and Ellie used each other to heal from the loss of Carina, more so Nick. Sometimes he'd feel guilty. Especially when he would smile and feel so much love as he watched Ellie hold Lily.   
  
But then he would remind himself of all the times Carina teased him about his feeling for Ellie, and encouraged him to not give up even with all the changes coming.   
  
Though that didn't take away the slight twinge of guilt that it should have been Carina in Ellie's position no matter how much he loved the sight of her with his daughter.   
  
By the time Lily was almost a year old, Ellie had practically moved into his apartment. No matter where he looked there were little touches of her everywhere, but it seemed so _right_.   
  
They had yet to act on the feelings between them that seemed to only grow each day. Sure they slept in the same bed most of the time, spent almost all their free time together with Lily, hugged more often and longer, and there would be cheek kisses that lingered, but nothing outright.   
  
Until one night when Lucia had volunteered to babysit Lily for a weekend.   
  
Nick and Ellie could both feel the tension in the air as they cleared off the takeout from the kitchen table.   
  
“Ellie.” He finally decided to say.  
  
Ellie didn't take her eyes off him as she set her beer down on the counter, closing the distance between them.  
  
“It's okay.” She breathed out. “I promise it's okay.”  
  
They both knew she was talking about so much more than just him making a move.   
  
Nick put his hands on her waist, fingers touching the strip of skin where her shirt had risen up. Ellie's eyes fluttered shut as they both leaned in. It was a gentle kiss, as if they were just testing the waters.   
  
His hand came to rest on her cheek. That one kiss grew into many, resulting in Nick lifting her onto the table behind her. She could have sworn she heard Nick mumble something about her being beautiful between kisses, making her heart flutter. Their hands trailed along the other's body in every part they could touch.  
  
They spent the rest of the weekend wrapped in each other. Nick wrapping his arms around her pressing kisses along her neck as she did the dishes or did her nightly routine (or tried to), Ellie making sure to curl against him in the bed or on the couch, both of them barely going minutes before they were soon touching in some way.   
  
But no matter how much their relationship grew with each other and Lily, they always made sure they never forgot Carina. Either it be visiting her grave, lighting a candle for her, cooking her favorite food, or telling Lily the story of Princess Carina as a bedtime story almost every night.   
  
And up above, Carina would smile. Her two best friends and baby girl were safe and happy. And well…  
  
 _Finally._


End file.
